First Official Post

I’m struggling to start because i’m nervous that this won’t work, you won’t find any help or you will judge me.

Now i’ve got that out of the way, judge away. I’m here typing knowing that someone out there is beginning a battle that I have faced for years, I have “an” answer that might at least start you off in the right direction. I felt so alone in this battle, felt like nobody wanted to help and everywhere i looked i was greeted with hands out asking for money or people who just didn’t understand the depths. I didn’t understand how we have been battling depression, anxiety, ptsd, de-realization for longer than I know, yet, somehow nobody knew what i was going through. How can there be no information out there that gets to the point, that gets me, that knows how to fix this.

Looking over my journal that I started on day 1-2. verabatim. “it seems like i am the only one suffering” – “my chest feels so heavy, tight, like ive been kicked in the heart, my emotions don’t exist, I just want to feel happy, normal” “i catch myself ruminating about “possible” problems, ie ” that bitch is going to do “insert thing here” “that person who cut me off is going to do” this traps me in anger and my chest gets heavy, i’m holding my breath”

Day 3-4, ” How to get peace of mind” “how to be happy” “trying to do affirmation, looking in the mirror, why do I love myself, why can’t I think of anything? why can’t I love myself? just switch the feeling, fake it to feel like yourself and it will stick, just switch it from heavy to you”

i’m grateful for every page and sentence

If you haven’t started a journal, please start today.